Monday, July 29, 2013

Impromptu Blog

Well I actually was not planning on blogging today, but I sat down at my computer to check email, Facebook, and stuff when a beautiful cat jumped into my lap. She is now asleep, and I am a sap. :)   I don't have the heart to kick her off, so I am blogging today.  :)

The truth is, I've been feeling a bit bummed.  I read a book a while ago that had a list of 20 or 30 things that people who lose weight and keep it off have done.  It was scientifically proven and blah blah.  Two of the things were - weigh yourself often; and don't let that number get to them.  They are able to look at it as a reflection of either what they have done well, or what they still need to change in their diet. 

Well, I've come to a realization.  I am not able to do the latter.  I think that I have written in the past about how the scale and I are not friends.  I become obsessed, then start checking my weight more and more often.  (Sometimes even multiple times in a day).  The number would go up, and then I would freak out and go into some sort of depression. 

At the beginning of summer I asked Greg to hide the scale, and I decided that I would only weigh myself every three weeks. Last Monday was the day to weigh in.  My clothes had continued to feel more loose, and my measurements had been lower than I have ever seen, so I was sure that I would see at least four pounds on the scale, and last time I weighed in, it had been six, so maybe it would be six again blah blah.  I stepped on the scale and ...2.  It said I had lost 2 pounds in 3 weeks.  I stepped off, and then slowly stepped on again to double check - hoping that there was some sort of mistake the first time.  Of course I saw the same result.  I have tried to push past it, and still worked out four days last week, but I did not enjoy it.  I had to drag myself through, and I'm still stuck in this funk.  I also completely pigged out over the weekend.  I gave in, and didn't care.  It just gets to this point where I'm fed up.  I'm trying really hard to get into a good mood, and get back to just focusing on the triathlon coming up. 

So I think I have decided that if I cannot handle the negative results without throwing myself off for a couple of weeks, then I'm just not going to weigh myself anymore.  I'm setting goals that I have control of and can do.  There are three weeks left until the competition, and before I'm back to 65 hour work weeks, so I'm going to enjoy this while I can, and not worry about a silly number.  The truth is that I do feel so much better, can do more than I have ever been able to, and I am seeing some good results, so why I am wasting my time obsessing about my weight? 

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